Happiness is...

Eugeniia Gul • June 3, 2021

Edited by Shay Michael

Photos by Suyeong Yang

Researchers find that people from all over of the world rate happiness more important than other desirable personal outcomes, such as obtaining wealth, living in a dream country, and finding the right person.

Psychologists began to study happiness only 25 years ago. 
There is nothing difficult as defining what happiness is. Can you see happiness? Can you touch it? Can you buy it? Well, depends on what happiness for you is! You can count money, but not happiness. 

To my mind, the happiest people are not those who experience blissful feelings, but those with the most stable positive outlook. Don't take me wrong, even the happiest people sometimes get discouraged, and the most unhappy have delightful moments. Happiness is a way of thinking, well, positive rather than negative. Happiness is about looking for the good and opportunities in a situation, rather than the bad.


When I think about divorce or death, the feeling that I get is fear, then I ask myself, "Am I really scared?" Or is it society's fears? If you ask me... I am not afraid of divorce. Divorce might be the beginning of something new and can lead you to meet a great person. Death is the same for me. It's not the end. It is the beginning of true life. 

American psychologists Sonya Lubomirsky and Ken Sheldon summarized everything that is known to science in this regard and presented it in the form of a circle divided into three parts of different sizes. The largest part of the circle - half of it - is the influence of personality and genetics. Some people feel happy since childhood, no matter what happens to them, while others find it difficult to feel that they are doing well. 

Approximately fifty percent of happiness is due to our genes.

Why are some of us happier than others? About fifty percent (50%) of the answer lies in genetics. 

The smallest part of the circle - about 10% - lies in our life circumstances

including the place where we live, income level, quality of education, marital status, having or not having kids, belonging to a particular social circle, or not. Therefore, from the point of view of psychologists, it makes no sense to go somewhere in the pursuit of happiness. We tend to think: "Oh, I'll be happier when I achieve more positive things in my life. When I get a new job, or when I get a boyfriend when I get married when I have a baby when I make more money". But, the truth is, those things don't affect our happiness as much as we think they will. People often believe that happiness will be achieved once they reach a certain milestone, as I believed 5 years ago, such as finding the perfect partner, living in the country of my dreams, or landing a particular salary.

Celebrities on Being Rich

I am an evident example of a person who mistakenly believed that I will be happier if...


 "If" - is my least favorite word but... I was certain if I move to the USA if I have 3 diplomas if I speak several languages fluently if I have a decent partner and a solid income I will be happy. I have it all now, I have 3 diplomas a Bachelor degree in Teaching, a Master's Degree in Cultural Diplomacy, and a Postgraduate in International Relations, I speak 3 languages a day - Polish, English, and Russian, I obtained numerous certificates in coaching and TV presenting, I married reliable man, I live in the country of my childhood dreams the USA and I published a workbook that helps women to discover who they are on the deepest level.

Can you imagine how it feels? It feels FANTASTIC, but only for a while. Like a morning hot coffee with a foam feels GREAT when it's fresh, but after a couple of hours, the same coffee is not as delicious as it was in the early morning. This "coffee" is not the state of mind; it is only 10% that makes us feel better but not HAPPY. 

The remaining 40% of the circle is under our power to change.

It is how we work on ourselves: what goals we strive for, what people we surround ourselves with, what activities we choose, what diet we keep to, what kind of life we ​​live. Happiness depends on us much more than we used to think.

Happy people live with purpose. They work toward their goals and live life according to their values (discover your core values with GUL PLANNER, Step 10). A happy person is fine with the simple pleasures of life petting a dog, sitting under a tree, enjoying a cup of tea or lukewarm water in the morning (discover what makes you happy with GUL PLANNER, Step 3). Happy person is not obsessed with material goods or luxury vacations. Numerous studies prove that money does not make us happy. But why is this myth so popular? Let's be honest, money brings happiness, but not for a long period. Have you ever experienced unpacked goodies from desirable shopping for days or even weeks? I did. High five! We are on the same page! People for whom money is especially important - feel more unhappy than those who believe in the power of the universe. 

Here are a few examples of the mindset of a happy person:

HAPPY PERSON:

  1. Is open to learning new things
  2. Is patient 
  3. Smiles and laughs 
  4. Goes with the flow
  5. Practices compassion, gratitude, and self-care 
  6. Enjoys healthy relationships - no drama
  7. Is happy for other people and cheers them up 
  8. Gives and receives without any expectations (GUL PLANNER Step 11) 
  9. Lives with meaning and purpose
  10. Is not angry or offensive
  11. Does not dread over yesterday and tomorrow
  12. Is not a victim 

Is it you?

Everyone has their own path to happiness

There is no universal key that will open the "happiness door". A happy person is distinguished from an unhappy person by his habits and life choices. The first step to happiness is to think of your intentions first when you wake up in the morning (instead of going over emails immediately) and to make a choice to be happy. Every day brings us new chances, new insights, new people, and new perceptions of happiness. I made a choice 5 years ago to be happy, and now I know that my happiness doesn't depend on my academic degrees, job title, and marital status. For me, happiness is the state of mind. Happiness for me is the state of my being. Happiness for me is ME. 


If you are trying to be happier, over time, not only you are going to feel happier, but you will receive all of the other gifts from the universe. 

Isn't that what you want?

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